Out of the Darkness

Wow, that was a pretty dark entry I put in last.

I have come around to discovering some things:

1] Industry leads to happiness

2] I can be happy when I live life fully

3] Life and love are around the corner

1 - I worked on the house most of the month of March and all of the month of April. Now, understand, I have always detested working on the house or yard. As I kept persisting, working on the house, I discovered that I enjoyed the work, and that the work made me feel more alive and happy, as well as improved my physical condition. I actually like working on the house. Ironically, I am discovering that Arbeit Macht Frei, i.e., Work Makes You Free, but in a different way than in the Third Reich. If it is work that I choose, and I do it with good quality, then I become freer. I like making that happen.

Talk about major paradigm shift!

2 - I had closed myself off. My life had walls that were closing in. I let my life happen that way. I have learned that I have control over what I do, and that the doing can bring me joy.

3 - I have analyzed my past behavior when in relationships, and I believe that I am a codependent to sex addicts. I have been learning about codependency, and what I have let my life become. I am learning to set and maintain proper boundaries. I am learning that others are not my responsibility to control. I am learning to take better care of myself, emotionally and physically.

It has been hot here in the Pacific Northwest (not the Pacific Northwet today), and I have just put in the AC in my room. I have decided that I can tolerate one isolated day of heat, but we are in for a string this week, and the AC needs to go in.

C'est suffit pour maintenant.