From my former christian background, I derived that there are two primary motivations for action in my life: fear and love ("there is no fear in love" from the first epistle of John).
My fear motivates my angry responses, and my sadness and depression stem from being overtaxed and being exhausted from my ongoing chronic anger.
Love is a higher motivation. Rather than fatigue me, it invigorates me; i.e., it builds life into me.
Much of my step 4 fearless moral inventory revolves around so many things I have done motivated by fear, rather than in love. My fear made me fat. My fear made me act codependent. My fear made me self-loathing for so long. I have chosen to live in fear for too much of my life.
My counter-response is that I need to love and forgive myself for the wrong things I have done to myself and others. I need to love the fat off of me. I need to love the codependent behaviors out of me. I need to love the hatred and anger out of my heart.
One big thing that I love about the 12 steps is that they have so much Buddhist truth in in them, and Buddhism deals with fear. Fear is the cause of those "desires" that will lead us into unhappiness.
"Perfect love casts out fear."
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