Whole Heartedness

In the past there were many times that I was tempted to close my heart, because of the pain I had endured. I had the temptation to become hard and hateful.

But deep inside there was always a still small voice that always wanted me to become more full and loving. For a long time, I at least pointed myself in the right direction, even though I don't know how much progress I was making at the time.

I love this talk by Brené Brown, and I have always greatly appreciated what she had to say from her research. It is important to be vulnerable so that I can be loved and connected to others, instead of afraid and ashamed. It is important to believe in my personal worthiness so that I will have a sense of love and belonging. She describes these qualities as "whole hearted". She speaks of this whole heartedness as courage, from the classic definition that courage is a person speaking the truth from his heart.



In my own life, it had been so tempting to close down my heart, to choose to be invulnerable, alone and frightened. I am so glad that I ultimately chose the path to becoming more loving and vulnerable.

At the conclusion, she leaves us with these points:

-let ourselves be seen, i.e., deeply and vulnerably seen

-love with our whole hearts

-practice gratitude and lean into joy

-believe we are enough

Which Vegetable Are You?

I am watching the most recent incarnation of the flick, "Last Holiday", and the chef talks about the turnip with such love. Then he explains why he loves it so much, saying that the turnip is self-made, because it improves with cooking, i.e., heat. Most other vegetables are destroyed by excess exposure to heat.

I am a turnip. I have been through the heat. I have not been destroyed, and I have come out better.

New Bicycle, Old Bicycle

Well, just about a month ago I purchased a comfort bike. Since I can't find any pictures of it on Google Images, I will just have to describe it. It is a comfort bike, having 700 cm wheels. Possessing seven speeds only, I needed to take it into Recycled Cycles to have them put on a new rear gear cluster that will handle hills more capably. I also transferred the pedals, saddle and saddle post from the Autobike. So far, I have very much enjoyed riding this bike. With the Autobike, I had gotten out of the habit of shifting a derailleur, so I am doing OK with that now.



I have used the new bike to do a little change of scenery. I have ridden uphill on the Cedar River Trail from Renton up toward Maple Valley. And though much of the trail parallels the Maple Valley Highway, which has excessive traffic noise, the scenery is nice.

The old bicycle reference is to the bicycle my late ex-brother-in-law owned. In the past ten years, that poor old bike has followed me from Seattle to Lansing, from Lansing back to Seattle, then from Seattle to San Bernardino, and now has returned back here. One sad aspect of that story is that I never rode that bicycle once in all the time I have owned it. Another sad aspect is the poor old thing has gotten banged up a bit in all the moves. I think that when it was leaned over in storage, I even stepped on the rear wheel, and bent it. So the old bike is one of my new projects. I am going to see what it takes to restore it and ride it.

Then perhaps I'll finally get rid of the other two old bikes that I own.

Mercy, I am such a clutterer/hoarder.