Decisions

In the past month, I must have been so elated that I didn't feel the need to post. LOL

Well, David broke up with me on Sunday. I will own the judgment that he is fickle and flaky, since he was chasing after a whore for most of the time we were "together." And David is the type of guy who is always looking to the door, to see if someone better is walking in; it's better not to have to deal with his indecisiveness. In a way, I am glad this is over. A good decisive ending at least.

I am considering to where I want to expatriate. I was thinking of South Africa, but the high crime is a deterrent to going there. On the plus side, the cost of living is very affordable, and gay marriages are legal there. Health care is on my own, but the price is still affordable, if I need to pay for my own procedures. I like the climate.

I am looking at Tasmania. The cost of living is almost as high as here, so I would have trouble affording it. On the other hand, they have government health care. Crime is lower than here. I like the climate.

There is Mexico. I speak some Spanish. The cost of living is a little less than here for most things, and much lower for real estate where I am looking at on the plateau, so I think that I could afford that. I will need to run the numbers to be sure. Health care is affordable, if I need to pay for my own procedures. I like the food. I like the climate. Crime can be an issue in some parts of the plateau, so choosing will need to be done carefully.

At one point I had considered expatriating to China, around Yunnan Province. I do speak Chinese, but I don't think I know enough of it to get along. I know that I would eventually learn more, but there is a time lag for the learning curve. It is very affordable. Health care would be OK, as I could afford to pay for my procedures there.

If I were to do this selection intelligently, I would create a excel spreadsheet to facilitate comparison.

Decisions. Decisions.

There Is No Fear In Love

From my former christian background, I derived that there are two primary motivations for action in my life: fear and love ("there is no fear in love" from the first epistle of John).

My fear motivates my angry responses, and my sadness and depression stem from being overtaxed and being exhausted from my ongoing chronic anger.

Love is a higher motivation. Rather than fatigue me, it invigorates me; i.e., it builds life into me.

Much of my step 4 fearless moral inventory revolves around so many things I have done motivated by fear, rather than in love. My fear made me fat. My fear made me act codependent. My fear made me self-loathing for so long. I have chosen to live in fear for too much of my life.

My counter-response is that I need to love and forgive myself for the wrong things I have done to myself and others. I need to love the fat off of me. I need to love the codependent behaviors out of me. I need to love the hatred and anger out of my heart.

One big thing that I love about the 12 steps is that they have so much Buddhist truth in in them, and Buddhism deals with fear. Fear is the cause of those "desires" that will lead us into unhappiness.

"Perfect love casts out fear."

Follow Your Bliss

Randy Pausch is a hero of mine. He said that it is a good thing to do what you like, and have a good time doing it.

This is what I need to do in my life. I hope your watching this video can inspire you, as it did me.

New and Better Directions for Schools

Sir Ken Robinson talks about creativity and its proper role in schools. Too long have schools diminished the importance of creative expression of our students. It is time that creative pursuits become integrated in school curriculum again.

Thinking in Her Right Mind

Jill Bolte Taylor had a stroke, caused by AVM. It was in the left hemisphere of her brain.

As a neuroanatomist, she describes how it was to be cognizant of what was happening to her, and that she was also cognizant of switching over to her right hemisphere, when her left hemisphere was incapacitated.

She speaks movingly and lovingly about her experience. She found such peace, beauty and joy while in her right hemisphere, describing it as nirvana.

Her description touched me deeply.

Health Care Whistle Blower

Way to go buddy!

New Piece of Learning

"The key is to keep moving forward towards the vision of the life I want for myself, and not be swayed by what [another] does or does not do. The measure of a person is not what happens to them, but how they react to what happens."

I read this on a mailgroup of which I am a member.

For too long I have been affected by what others have done to me. Thus I have allowed myself to be controlled by what they have done. What negative consequences I have created in my life because I allowed this to happen!

I need to focus rather on what I want to accomplish for myself in this life.

I can see now how important it is to maintain focus on the right thing.